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Degree In Awesome
I officially finished degree number 2 today. Unlike the first one, this is one I'm actually really proud of myself for doing. It was hard work, non-stop since September 5th, but it was awesome. Fuck that, for today only, I'm willing to say I AM AWESOME!!
Endings has been quite a theme in my life at the moment. I've ended all my assessments for uni with the handing in of my dissertation today. We had our last 'proper' day in our group - all we have left now is our presentations which are held elsewhere on Saturday. I met with a uni friend I used to live with yesterday, so inevitably we got to talking about old times - friendships and relationships that have suffered the fates of time. Also, she told me the sad news that one of our acquaintances from uni days had killed himself. He was someone I knew, although didn't know well. What I did know of him though, was that he was lovely, kind, friendly, and treated my friend who he dated as a princess. He also let himself be maligned and thought ill of in order to protect my friends relationship with her sister - a rare example of selfless behaviour. Add to that, two of the young people I support having serious attempts at suicide last weekend. Luckily, that's two endings that have been avoided. For now.
A couple of days ago, Omar and Rob decided to set this up: http://awesometeam.posterous.com/. The premise being, to take time to post something awesome that happens in your day and to share it with other people. I joined mostly because I didn't want to be left out, and at the moment I couldn't say with any certainty whether I will post on it regularly or not. But that's besides the point. The point is that the existence of this site makes me both happy and sad.
I know I'm certainly guilty of looking on the gloomy side of life, so having my posterous app popping up a message when someone adds to the site, is a really good reminder to look on the bright side instead. It has made me think for the last two days more about the good things that are happening in my days.
The sadness comes from the fact that we don't share our happy stories, especially the small things. Yes, my comment this morning was superficial and probably nobody else cares, but it made me think about why I'd put on glittery eye liner and the reasons behind that decision made me smile and walk with a bounce in my step.
I know I'm certainly guilty of looking on the gloomy side of life, so having my posterous app popping up a message when someone adds to the site, is a really good reminder to look on the bright side instead. It has made me think for the last two days more about the good things that are happening in my days.
The sadness comes from the fact that we don't share our happy stories, especially the small things. Yes, my comment this morning was superficial and probably nobody else cares, but it made me think about why I'd put on glittery eye liner and the reasons behind that decision made me smile and walk with a bounce in my step.
Just printed out the final copy of my dissertation - all 75 pages of it on fancy thick paper. I don't find this easy to admit to myself, let alone say out loud or type so the world (or two people who read this) can see - but I'm really proud of myself. This year has been so hard, I've cried, shouted, screamed and have thrown things. I've been inspired, excited, motivated, and have learnt. If I had to do it again, I honestly don't know that I would. But I'm so very glad I've done it. My heart and soul has gone into this degree, and in particular this dissertation, and I'm completely proud of how much effort I've put into it, and in turn what I've produced.
It's time to look towards what's next. So what is next? Next is getting pro-active about either persuading management to pay me to work full time on LGBT, or figuring out how to set up a charity on my own...
It's time to look towards what's next. So what is next? Next is getting pro-active about either persuading management to pay me to work full time on LGBT, or figuring out how to set up a charity on my own...
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