But Maybe I'm Crazy, Maybe You're Crazy, Maybe We're Crazy, Probably

People may well want to have me sectioned after this blog entry, but it's something I've been thinking about and may be sending myself more crazy than I already am (which is an ironic comment given what I'm about to write).
I've spent the last year in therapy as a requirement of my course. Well it started off as a requirement of my course and ended up being for me. I know myself better now that I ever have, but at the same time the more I've got to know the more I think there still is that I don't really know or understand. Sometimes I think I'm quite a together person, and I'm pretty sure I often present this way to people - friends, family, colleagues, clients. Other times though I think I'm about three steps away from complete meltdown crazy. I don't know if this is just me, am I the only one who questions their own sanity (at what seems to be quite frequent intervals)?? Is the very fact that I question it enough to have me locked up? Or is me questioning it a sign of me being 'normal'? I live in fear that someone will turn around and tell me I'm too screwed up to be a counsellor. That they will take away the one good thing I really love. Then the moral questions start up: if I'm thinking this then should I walk away now? Or, do I trust the process I've gone through, the assessments I have had, the therapy I have had and the supervision I have still? Or is my problem none of them... is it that I WANT to be 'crazy'?? I've always cringed away from the word 'normal' - is this me being terrified that I've healed and I've become (horror of horrors) normal?? And if I have, why is that such a bad thing?
I don't know if there are answers to my questions. Or even what the question is that I'm trying to ask. I just know that sometimes I feel so totally fucked up and that scares me. Other times I feel so total together and that scares me too.