Let Us Pause In Life's Pleasures And Count Its Many Tears

A few days ago I wrote a blog off-loading about feeling let down and unloved by my sister.  Events this week have put this into perspective somewhat.  It's fair to say if I had to pick one of the hardest weeks of my life, this would be up there in my top ten for sure.  I'm not going into details for a number of reasons, but in brief the cause of this upset being a few incidents at work around suicide and me feeling very helpless to limit the completely desperate pain someone was feeling.  I don't think I've ever heard pain and complete desolation quite like that which was clear in the sound of their crying. 
Wednesday lunchtime I'd had about as much as I could handle, and went for some fresh air (ahem, fag break - yes I've quit but I needed one so don't judge!).  The tears started flowing and without consciously deciding to I rang my sister.  She was calm, listened to me cry, talked to me about how I was feeling.  She was soft and caring, yet practical about things in order to help me find a less wobbly place.  Today she text, asking how I was feeling and if I was having a better day today.  She may not ring for a chat, or text on situations like I wrote of before, but when she knows I'm in pain, she's there for me.  And that's what's important in all this right?  Sure it would be great if she thought of me randomly and picked up the phone, but then I'm making a judgement here that because I do it that it's the way to do things.  When I need her though, she's always there, and that's what's brilliant about my sister.
Also, just as a follow on from that I want to mention my friends.  I often feel pretty isolated and alone in this world.  I know in reality I'm not, but that's my paranoia and low self worth raising it's head up there.  This week my amazingly supportive and much leaned on best friend has found the words and ways to say things that get through to me in a way that pretty much nobody else can do.  My colleagues have proved themselves to be far more than colleagues - sometimes it's ace working in a caring profession!  And Omar with his post-it's that made me raise the only smile I could manage on Wednesday.  So thank you, you're support and love has got me through these last few days.  I owe you.