Do you ever wish you could just make your thoughts shut the fuck up? Today is one of those days. My mind has been racing since I woke up and nothing seems to drown it out or make it stop... I've tried music, TV, chattering with people and nothing. Seriously beginning to think the only solution is starting at one end of my table full of alcohol and working my way to the other. To drink myself so obliterated that I don't even remember my own name, let alone be able to think about things. Knowing my luck though, like cockroaches after a chemical war, my thoughts would still be live and well.
Mostly I'm thinking about Gran. Every month seems to bring a new problem or issue with her. The most recent thing being she's fallen again causing damage to her foot and a deep wound on her leg that's now got infected. Last night she told me the morning after she did it she had to crawl down the corridor to the bathroom because she couldn't walk. An 87 year old lady on her hands and knees. It broke my heart. I feel so guilty that I'm down here and she's in Wales all alone. What scares me is that I know there's only one route that all this can go. Now when I see her my immediate thought isn't that I'm looking at Gran, it's that I'm looking at a frail old lady. I hate this and I'm powerless to change anything.
6 comments:
I'm thinking of you lovely - if you ever need a lift to Wales in the middle of the night, you know where to come x x x x
Thank you sweetheart, I love you for the offer, and because I know you'd be here in a second to take me there if I asked you to. xxxx
Ally I do so sympathise with you. I suppose she's too proud to have one of these personal call buttons.Not that it prevents a fall. My Mum eventually gave in and had one..... boy was she glad she used it almostly immediately and said she was very glad to be able to hear another voice on the end of a phone! and know someone could come and help her. Anyway just a thought. xxxx
She has admitted to my aunty that she thinks she needs some help, although I don't know exactly what she means by this. I've checked out about lifelines and have found out about Wiltshire Foods incase she wants to go down those routes. I'm off to see her on Saturday, so will be able to have a chat with her about them then. Hopefully she will see that it's a sensible route to go down. We will wait and see!
Do you think we'll be as proud & subborn when we reach that age?!!
You can't do anymore than you are already doing! All the best for Saturday xx
I intend to be even worse when I'm that age, I'm learning from the master!! Thank you for your kind words, will let you know how Saturday goes xx
Post a Comment