Friends Will Be Friends, Until The End

This is likely to be the first time, and quite possibly the last time that I'll say something good about myself on here. I generally think that I am a reasonable friend (that's as positive a comment about myself as you're likely to get I'm afraid!). If a friend is in pain or despair or is after advice or just in need of a lift or something, then if it's within my power to help I absolutely will. This weekend I was faced with a dilemma. I had a friend who I've known for 17 years in a lot of pain and asking for my help. The problem was the help was in the form of counselling support for their fiance. Part of me just wanted to say 'of course' because I wanted to make what they were both going through more bearable. Then the professional side of me knew that my answer had to be 'no'. I can't ethically give counselling to someone who is connected to me. My desire to help was conflicting with my professional sensibilities. I could give them information on where they could get the help they needed, but I couldn't (can't) provide it myself. So in a moment very foreign to me, I had to say to my friend I couldn't do what they wanted me to do. I felt awful. I felt like I'd betrayed a long friendship by saying I wouldn't help when they reached out to me.
This desire to help people whenever I possibly can comes from two places. The first is that I genuinely care if people are in pain and I want to make their lives easier and happier places to be. The other is less true now than it has been, but still has a hangover into today so warrants mentioning. That is that if I make myself useful to people they'll continue to be my friend because I'm useful to have around. In short I would be buying my place in their circle because I didn't believe they really wanted to be my friend. I'm not writing this because I want people to contradict it or because I want people's pity. I'm writing it because hearing it and continuing to work on it post therapy helps me to let it go.
In a very rare moment this weekend I put myself first. I said no to helping a friend (well, I did help because I told them they could talk to me as a good listener etc., and found out information on where they could get counselling support from). Quelle surprise, they were fine with that and we're still friends! I think they call it growth!