My best friend Jennifer is marrying one of my favourite people, Christopher. I couldn't imagine anything better, two people who I love to pieces are marrying eachother. I like to think it's thanks to me that they're together since it was through me they met!
The thought of marriage terrifies me. Maybe because I'm not in a relationship and haven't been in one where I could imagine spending my life with them. Maybe it's because I still feel very young. The idea of Chris getting married sits fine with me - perhaps it's because I've known him since we were 18 and so I think of him in quite an adult way. With Jenn though it's taken some getting used to! It's different; I've grown up with her. Not in a 'since we were knee-high to grasshopper way'; we have been friends since we were about 13 so I mean we grew up together emotionally. Sometimes I think if it weren't for Jenn I never would have made it this far.
The thought of Jenn and Chris marrying though feels so right. They just seem to fit together despite (or maybe because of) all their differences. I thought with the advent of my best friend getting married I would be sad that I was losing something. Other than a brief wobble though, I can honestly say I've not felt that way. Jenn is still Jenn, and Chris is still Chris as well as being part of 'them' That's what I think makes them work.
Bored of Fair Oak
It's 3:04 pm and I am currently sat at my desk in work willing the time to pass. I have been here since 8.15 am and cannot leave for another 116 minutes. Or 6,960 seconds. I have been rosta-ed onto possibly the most boring job you can have in this office and have exhausted pretty much every website I can think of to look at. Funniest part of this though is that I do the rota's each week - I am solely to blame for my extreme boredom today! I have planned six holidays, checked out literally dozens of laptops, chosen several pairs of Laboutin shoes that I might wear to Jenn's wedding. I have spent so many hours staring at my privacy bored that I could tell you exactly where everything is to the nearest millimetre.
I like privacy boards, they tell you alot about a person I think. I share my desk, so I like somewhat like a schizophrenic. On my little section though I have a magazine picture of Shane Williams (Wales and Ospreys winger) (http://www.sporting-heroes.net/rugby-heroes/displayhero.asp?HeroID=2143 - not a good picture though), a postcard of the stained glass window in the Forest of Dean (http://www.forestofdean-sculpture.org.uk/sculptures/current/cathedral/), a note from a much missed colleague, and a photo of my friends Carly, Caz, Carl, Jenn and Luce. Ooh and also a specially made picture of me and Sean Bean on our wedding day! I don't know what that says about me, other than that on my work notice board I have absolutely nothing to do with work on it! I think if they are covered in stuff it tends to suggest you like your creature comforts to soften the fact that you're at work, or that you've been there so long you've resigned yourself to a life there and may as well make it a bit nicer. Nothing on a board I reckon means you're refusing to make yourself comfortable and encourage you to move on. Either that, or you're a dull person. If I've now offended people, I am sorry.
So it's now 3.30pm and I've wasted 26 minutes writing about privacy boards....
I like privacy boards, they tell you alot about a person I think. I share my desk, so I like somewhat like a schizophrenic. On my little section though I have a magazine picture of Shane Williams (Wales and Ospreys winger) (http://www.sporting-heroes.net/rugby-heroes/displayhero.asp?HeroID=2143 - not a good picture though), a postcard of the stained glass window in the Forest of Dean (http://www.forestofdean-sculpture.org.uk/sculptures/current/cathedral/), a note from a much missed colleague, and a photo of my friends Carly, Caz, Carl, Jenn and Luce. Ooh and also a specially made picture of me and Sean Bean on our wedding day! I don't know what that says about me, other than that on my work notice board I have absolutely nothing to do with work on it! I think if they are covered in stuff it tends to suggest you like your creature comforts to soften the fact that you're at work, or that you've been there so long you've resigned yourself to a life there and may as well make it a bit nicer. Nothing on a board I reckon means you're refusing to make yourself comfortable and encourage you to move on. Either that, or you're a dull person. If I've now offended people, I am sorry.
So it's now 3.30pm and I've wasted 26 minutes writing about privacy boards....
Frustrated
I get a point every year, usually around now, when I get frustrated and fed up with my life. I am in that headspace now. I am for the most part happy with my life when I break it down and look at it rationally. But right now I'm not in the mood for thinking rationally, I have had to be very grown up for the last three weeks, and what I really want is to kick back and have a tantrum! I want to be impulsive and do something fun and a bit off the wall. I tried to be impulsive yesterday and get a tattoo done on the way to college, but didn't because it was raining. How dull and grown up is that?!
I would love to break away from everything that shackles me into this normal, boring and adult existence. I want to not have to worry about a severe lack of money, or paying my mortgage, or my sensible but dull job, or my college essays. I want to have some fun!
Any suggestions would be very welcome!
I would love to break away from everything that shackles me into this normal, boring and adult existence. I want to not have to worry about a severe lack of money, or paying my mortgage, or my sensible but dull job, or my college essays. I want to have some fun!
Any suggestions would be very welcome!
Teenage Dirtbag
A lovely friend of mine bought me the '40 Years of Radio One' cd for Christmas which has hardly been off my cd player since I got it. The Gossip version of Careless Whisper is brilliant, as is Hard-fi's rendition of Britney classic Toxic. They have both taken very distinctive songs and made them their own - and in the case of the latter at least, far far better then the original. Plus, I adore Beth Ditto, so anything she does I think I'm predisposed to love anyway!
Perhaps my favourite cover on the album though came as somewhat of a surprise to me; it's Girls Aloud doing Teenage Dirtbag. Girls Aloud do have a special place in my heart - everyone needs a good girly singalong from time to time! And for nostalgic reasons Teenage Dirtbag always has a special place in my heart. But Girls Aloud covering Teenage Dirtbag? It works bloody well! There's one bit when one of the girls shouts the line "why don't you give a damn about me?". I like to think this is Sarah Harding - I think she's the trashiest of the girls and I love her for it. She also seems like the one most likely to atucally have a clue who Iron Maiden actually! I only really have one gripe about this version of Teenage Dirtbag, and this is because they change the gender of the 'dirtbag' from female to male. What would have been so wrong with Girls Aloud singing about their affection for a girl?
Perhaps my favourite cover on the album though came as somewhat of a surprise to me; it's Girls Aloud doing Teenage Dirtbag. Girls Aloud do have a special place in my heart - everyone needs a good girly singalong from time to time! And for nostalgic reasons Teenage Dirtbag always has a special place in my heart. But Girls Aloud covering Teenage Dirtbag? It works bloody well! There's one bit when one of the girls shouts the line "why don't you give a damn about me?". I like to think this is Sarah Harding - I think she's the trashiest of the girls and I love her for it. She also seems like the one most likely to atucally have a clue who Iron Maiden actually! I only really have one gripe about this version of Teenage Dirtbag, and this is because they change the gender of the 'dirtbag' from female to male. What would have been so wrong with Girls Aloud singing about their affection for a girl?
Kind Friends
I feel like I've been duped this year. It's not the year I signed on for, that's for sure! Goodness knows what is going to happen regarding Gran over the next days and weeks; it's a case of taking each day as it comes and dealing with what it brings. To add insult to injury though, I have a Doctors appointment this evening because I'm worried about some moles on my back. Something else to worry about for me then! I've not told my family I'm going, they have got enough to worry about at the moment. Besides, it's not like it will make a difference to the outcome of the appointment.
The thing I'm most grateful of at the moment is the love, support and kindness my friends have given me. Text messages, phone calls, emails, facebook messages - they've all helped me such a lot. Also, Mrs Chotoye and Mrs Taylor: their kind words on my last entry here were so helpful and thoughtful. I was really touched by them.
So I want to thank those people so very much, for making this horrid time a bit easier to cope with. And, bear with me because I think it's going to last a little while yet... xx
The thing I'm most grateful of at the moment is the love, support and kindness my friends have given me. Text messages, phone calls, emails, facebook messages - they've all helped me such a lot. Also, Mrs Chotoye and Mrs Taylor: their kind words on my last entry here were so helpful and thoughtful. I was really touched by them.
So I want to thank those people so very much, for making this horrid time a bit easier to cope with. And, bear with me because I think it's going to last a little while yet... xx
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)