- made oreo cookie brownies
- made a raspberry pavlova
- 7 hours at uni
- presentation at uni
- planned out my case study
- wondered around the shops at Wilton
- lunch at Polly's Tearooms
- slept for 10 hours
- sorted through Grandparents photo's with Mum
- had a guided meditation
- watched Top Gear Christmas Special
- listened to lots of local radio
- flicked through the magazine supplements of Sunday Times
- watched Hollyoaks
Things I've done this weekend:
I was thinking about new years resolutions being about doing things rather than being about saying things you could do, and how this year I was my new years resolutions to fall into the former of the two camps. I was quite vague about my resolutions - mostly probably because if I'm vague about them and don't fulfil them then I won't feel like such a failure.
Two of my vague resolutions were about going to the theatre more and going to more gigs. I'm happy to announce that I have my own gig night in February, Terrorvision (!) in March and Bring Me The Horizon/ Devil Wears Prada/ Parkway Drive/ Architects in April all booked up. One a month sounds pretty good rate to me! Theatre wise, I have Footloose in February, To Kill A Mockingbird in March and We Will Rock You in April, as well as Dirty Dancing booked up for April 2012. Not very high brow on the whole, but to be honest, I don't give a fuck. I like what I like.
I think that's a pretty decent start, and the other things previously mentioned - rugby team, finding a guitar teacher - well, it's only 12 days into the new year, I'll give myself a break for not having done them yet.
Two of my vague resolutions were about going to the theatre more and going to more gigs. I'm happy to announce that I have my own gig night in February, Terrorvision (!) in March and Bring Me The Horizon/ Devil Wears Prada/ Parkway Drive/ Architects in April all booked up. One a month sounds pretty good rate to me! Theatre wise, I have Footloose in February, To Kill A Mockingbird in March and We Will Rock You in April, as well as Dirty Dancing booked up for April 2012. Not very high brow on the whole, but to be honest, I don't give a fuck. I like what I like.
I think that's a pretty decent start, and the other things previously mentioned - rugby team, finding a guitar teacher - well, it's only 12 days into the new year, I'll give myself a break for not having done them yet.
I came up with a New Years Resolution by accident today. As part of my general avoidance of watching myself in a therapy session and analysing it (yuck yuck yuck yuck), my attention was drawn instead to my book cases. Counting them, I discovered I've got 91 novels I've not read - obviously that doesn't include books of poetry, plays or non-fiction of which there are many. So this year's resolution is to not buy any new books (except text books, I have to buy them) and instead read the 91 I already have waiting to be read or to be finished - many of them have been begun and discarded for one reason or another.
I have a bit of a 'thing' about buying new books, so this isn't going to be an easy resolution to keep from that respect. It did kick into action several hours of daydreaming about which one to read first rather than writing 2,500 words of interpersonal process recall. If I've achieved nothing else, then I've achieved taking avoiding writing assignments to a whole new level!
I have a bit of a 'thing' about buying new books, so this isn't going to be an easy resolution to keep from that respect. It did kick into action several hours of daydreaming about which one to read first rather than writing 2,500 words of interpersonal process recall. If I've achieved nothing else, then I've achieved taking avoiding writing assignments to a whole new level!
Okay. So it's pretty accurate to say so far 2011 has been a wash out. Eight minutes into day two, and it's time to turn this around. I'm not spending another day feeling the same way as I've spent it so far.
2011 hasn't magicked up any new ways of handling my depression, or my urges to self harm. It's not brought forth an instantaneous hit of self confidence, self belief or self worth. I don't expect miracles, I learnt long ago that they're definitely confined to the pages of fairy tales. That, and Tinseltown.
But it's an excuse to try again. It's a chance to review things and to look at what's changeable, what's achievable and what I want. And if what I want isn't gettable - then it's about making peace with that and moving on. So that's what I'm doing. Or at least, that's what I'm trying to do. And that's all I can do.
2011 hasn't magicked up any new ways of handling my depression, or my urges to self harm. It's not brought forth an instantaneous hit of self confidence, self belief or self worth. I don't expect miracles, I learnt long ago that they're definitely confined to the pages of fairy tales. That, and Tinseltown.
But it's an excuse to try again. It's a chance to review things and to look at what's changeable, what's achievable and what I want. And if what I want isn't gettable - then it's about making peace with that and moving on. So that's what I'm doing. Or at least, that's what I'm trying to do. And that's all I can do.
Help, I've done it again.
I have been here many times before.
Hurt myself again today.
The worst part is there is no one else to blame.
Be my friend, hold me, wrap me up, unfold me.
I am small, I'm needy, warm me up, and breathe me.
Ouch I have lost myself again.
Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found.
I think that I might break.
I've lost myself again and I feel unsafe.
Breathe Me, Sia
I have been here many times before.
Hurt myself again today.
The worst part is there is no one else to blame.
Be my friend, hold me, wrap me up, unfold me.
I am small, I'm needy, warm me up, and breathe me.
Ouch I have lost myself again.
Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found.
I think that I might break.
I've lost myself again and I feel unsafe.
Breathe Me, Sia
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)