This week I have a HUGE (and by huge I mean colossal) decision to make. I've had a dream since I was about twelve on a holiday in the Lake District (exotic, I know!) to open my own cafe. Over the years the dream has altered slightly and today has come to rest with it being a cafe with a musical edge. I would have open mic nights and stay open into the evenings for live music. There would be guitars available to pick up and play if they want. There would be local artists work for sale on the walls, and a liquor licence to sell bottles of beer and wine.
Then there's the other potential path, something I haven't dreamt about forever, but I get huge satisfaction from - counselling. My dream with counselling though had never been a straightforward one. I always think of counselling as an addition to something else I do.
So here is plan three: that I go down the cafe route, and when I am stable enough I can expand to counselling too. Maybe even just continue as I do now and volunteer somewhere. I think part of my love of counselling is giving something precious to someone and expecting nothing in return.
Idea two is the safest of the three. Idea one I get tingly and excited about but I feel like I will have wasted the last however many years of studying. So idea three makes most logical sense. I just don't know though if it's a possibility. The thought of not ever doing it though breaks my heart. I don't know if I can do it, but I don't know if I can not do it either.
Bound By Wild Desire, I Fell Into A Ring Of Fire
Last night was the first in what looks set to be a happy future of headlining for Jet Heeled Striker. There was something different about Adam when talking to him before they even got on stage. There was an extra spark in his eye - he always looks relaxed and happy when on stage but last night there was an extra level of adrenaline bouncing around him.
Clearly it wasn't limited to Adam though, because all the guys looked like they had the adrenaline flowing when they hit the stage. It was a great sight. They were relaxed and confident as ever, but there was a bit of a devil-may-care attitude going on too. Not in an arrogant 'you should all listen to us and think we're magnificent' way, but in a 'we love what we're doing and we're going to enjoy ourselves tonight' way. They knew it was their stage, their night, rather than preparing it for someone else. A night that they deserved, and that did not disappoint.
They played their way beautifully through the set which showed their talent at songwriting and performing - each song sounding both unique and as a part of something bigger at the same time. If I actually was ever unselfconscious enough to dance sober (moshing doesn't count as dancing!) then I would have danced my way through the entire thing!
I'm not going to rant on for ages, because to be honest, you should be going to see this band rather than taking my word for it. Adam naming me during the evening before playing the subliminal Generation X (I've changed my mind again, this IS still my favourite song) has no bearing on me saying how good they are - honest!
The only negative comment I have to make - other than that the second band to play were worse than anything I've heard for a very long time - is that they're not playing again until September 25th in The Joiners. However, if last night is anything to go on, it's likely to be a very good night.
Clearly it wasn't limited to Adam though, because all the guys looked like they had the adrenaline flowing when they hit the stage. It was a great sight. They were relaxed and confident as ever, but there was a bit of a devil-may-care attitude going on too. Not in an arrogant 'you should all listen to us and think we're magnificent' way, but in a 'we love what we're doing and we're going to enjoy ourselves tonight' way. They knew it was their stage, their night, rather than preparing it for someone else. A night that they deserved, and that did not disappoint.
They played their way beautifully through the set which showed their talent at songwriting and performing - each song sounding both unique and as a part of something bigger at the same time. If I actually was ever unselfconscious enough to dance sober (moshing doesn't count as dancing!) then I would have danced my way through the entire thing!
I'm not going to rant on for ages, because to be honest, you should be going to see this band rather than taking my word for it. Adam naming me during the evening before playing the subliminal Generation X (I've changed my mind again, this IS still my favourite song) has no bearing on me saying how good they are - honest!
The only negative comment I have to make - other than that the second band to play were worse than anything I've heard for a very long time - is that they're not playing again until September 25th in The Joiners. However, if last night is anything to go on, it's likely to be a very good night.
All We Want From You Are The Kicks You've Given Us
In the Cardiff afterlife
We sensed the making of our lives
Gotta love Manic Street Preachers for making sense of my sometimes very confusing life!
We sensed the making of our lives
Gotta love Manic Street Preachers for making sense of my sometimes very confusing life!
This Is a Weeping Song, A Song In Which To Weep
When my Grandad died one of his friends wanted to honour his memory by planting a tree in his name. My Grandad was quite an important man who brought industry and hope to a very depressed area. So it was because of this that his friend wanted his name and memory live on in the community he helped so much.
At some point between 1558 and 1603 Elizabeth I visited the Royal Forest of Dean and planted an oak tree. Ever since then it has been one of the jobs of the verderer to maintain the lineage - there always has to be some saplings healthy and ready to be planted in the event of disease or whatever hitting the mature royal oaks.
It was the verderer who was my Grandads friend and it was one of these saplings he used to honour him with.
It was a wet and cold winter morning when we gathered to help plant this tiny sapling in the arboretum next to Speech House. The rain mingling rather symbolically with my tears, and the cold being a good excuse for why my hands were shaking too much to be much use at spading up the mud. But then, at the age of twelve when you've just sat through a memorial service in a cathedral full of strangely important looking people for someone you've only ever known as your Grandad, I think it's justifiable to have been a little overwhelmed by the events that had been unfolding.
I've only been to the tree once since we planted it. For some reason I found visiting the tree so much harder than his grave. I know it's doing okay because my sister visits it quite a bit, but I find the idea of going to it so painful. I want to go, I want to see it growing into a beautiful strong tree, and I want to see the plaque they've finally agreed to let be put there.
My sister saw the tree this week and showed me a short video she'd taken of it this morning. It floored me totally. I was a mess, tears and snot pouring down my face. Crying with such a feeling of grief that I've not cried like in a very long time. My Grandad has been dead fifteen years, he's been missing from my life for longer than he was in it. I've cried so many tears for him over the years, as I have all those I've lost since. To cry with such pain and sadness after all this time really knocked me about. Why watching a thirty second video of his tree caused such a reaction in me, I've no idea.
At some point between 1558 and 1603 Elizabeth I visited the Royal Forest of Dean and planted an oak tree. Ever since then it has been one of the jobs of the verderer to maintain the lineage - there always has to be some saplings healthy and ready to be planted in the event of disease or whatever hitting the mature royal oaks.
It was the verderer who was my Grandads friend and it was one of these saplings he used to honour him with.
It was a wet and cold winter morning when we gathered to help plant this tiny sapling in the arboretum next to Speech House. The rain mingling rather symbolically with my tears, and the cold being a good excuse for why my hands were shaking too much to be much use at spading up the mud. But then, at the age of twelve when you've just sat through a memorial service in a cathedral full of strangely important looking people for someone you've only ever known as your Grandad, I think it's justifiable to have been a little overwhelmed by the events that had been unfolding.
I've only been to the tree once since we planted it. For some reason I found visiting the tree so much harder than his grave. I know it's doing okay because my sister visits it quite a bit, but I find the idea of going to it so painful. I want to go, I want to see it growing into a beautiful strong tree, and I want to see the plaque they've finally agreed to let be put there.
My sister saw the tree this week and showed me a short video she'd taken of it this morning. It floored me totally. I was a mess, tears and snot pouring down my face. Crying with such a feeling of grief that I've not cried like in a very long time. My Grandad has been dead fifteen years, he's been missing from my life for longer than he was in it. I've cried so many tears for him over the years, as I have all those I've lost since. To cry with such pain and sadness after all this time really knocked me about. Why watching a thirty second video of his tree caused such a reaction in me, I've no idea.
Oh Neil I'd Even Give Up A Months Supply Of Chewing Tobakky
First off I need to explain the reasoning behind the lyrics as the title of this blog... after going to see Jet Heeled Striker last night Neil (guitarist in the band) asked if there would be a blog entry to google today. So I figured without any inspiration of anything else to call this entry, I would find some sort of lyrical link to Neil instead. There seems to be a shortage of songs about people called Neil, maybe it's a niche in the market JHS could fill..... The only song I could come up with is a shockingly bad Carol King number called 'Oh Neil' which she wrote in response to Neil Sedaka's track 'Oh Carol'.
Last nights gig was in The Railway Inn in Winchester. Saying it was loud does not even begin to explain the volume in that little black room. Saying it was lacking in audience numbers does not really do it justice either. I know it was a Thursday night, but come on people, make an effort, support your local bands!
We got there in time to catch the last 3 or so songs of a band called Mirrors. To say the lead singer was energetic is probably the polite version. By the end of the little bit of what we saw of them I found myself wishing he would knock himself out on the lights he was nearly headbutting every time he jumped. He seemed to want to be both the bands singer and biggest fan all at once which resulted in him pacing back and forth and jumping around like someone who wouldn't have been out of place in a room with padded walls and calming colours! It was a shame really because past that they actually had quite a good sound, but it was lost by the totally over the top nature of their singer. The first time he banged his microphone on his head in time to the drummer was quite a nice touch, the third time it was just dull. The potential's there, but for me they have a lot of polishing to do.
Jet Heeled Striker in comparison looked much more cohesive and comfortable in the stage space. They've had enough gigs now to get to that point where they have found the balance between being entertaining and over the top. Luckily Adam doesn't feel the need to pace around like a rabid creature!
Bare with me because I don't know the technicalities of what that man at the back of the room does with the table of buttons; but whatever he's meant to do, he wasn't doing it very well last night. The singing was largely swamped by the music - not because Adams singing isn't good enough to stand up next to the music, because it really is. Safe & Sound fared well with this distorted balance because of the style of the song. Its nu-metal feel works well with a heavy guitar sound and lyrics which are slower and more melodic. Other songs like First Gay President (forgive me if that's not the correct title!) where the singing is faster and much more lyric-y didn't stand up so well.
A lot of bands pay a huge amount of attention to the singer and use the music to back them up. Without the lyrical content, they don't have much to fall back on. Last nights unbalanced sound could have been a real issue if it weren't for the fact that Jet Heeled Striker aren't a singer with a back up band. Neither are they a band who have a singer because they have to. They pay as much attention to all parts of what makes them a band. Each one of the five of them complements and supports the other. Without being able to hear Adam so well last night was a shame, but it wasn't a bad performance as a result as the music stood up really well on its own merits.
To go back briefly to their stage presence, I think what makes them so watchable is that they don't look like they're trying to be a band, it looks like they are one. I love that Chris wonders about the stage to play with Neil or Gibbo, he just looks like he lives his life on a stage. At one point last night he and Neil were laughing together as they were playing; it's little things like that that makes them so enjoying to watch - their comfort and enjoyment in what they're doing really comes through in their music and in their performance on stage.
Looking forward to Talking Heads on 23 July!
Last nights gig was in The Railway Inn in Winchester. Saying it was loud does not even begin to explain the volume in that little black room. Saying it was lacking in audience numbers does not really do it justice either. I know it was a Thursday night, but come on people, make an effort, support your local bands!
We got there in time to catch the last 3 or so songs of a band called Mirrors. To say the lead singer was energetic is probably the polite version. By the end of the little bit of what we saw of them I found myself wishing he would knock himself out on the lights he was nearly headbutting every time he jumped. He seemed to want to be both the bands singer and biggest fan all at once which resulted in him pacing back and forth and jumping around like someone who wouldn't have been out of place in a room with padded walls and calming colours! It was a shame really because past that they actually had quite a good sound, but it was lost by the totally over the top nature of their singer. The first time he banged his microphone on his head in time to the drummer was quite a nice touch, the third time it was just dull. The potential's there, but for me they have a lot of polishing to do.
Jet Heeled Striker in comparison looked much more cohesive and comfortable in the stage space. They've had enough gigs now to get to that point where they have found the balance between being entertaining and over the top. Luckily Adam doesn't feel the need to pace around like a rabid creature!
Bare with me because I don't know the technicalities of what that man at the back of the room does with the table of buttons; but whatever he's meant to do, he wasn't doing it very well last night. The singing was largely swamped by the music - not because Adams singing isn't good enough to stand up next to the music, because it really is. Safe & Sound fared well with this distorted balance because of the style of the song. Its nu-metal feel works well with a heavy guitar sound and lyrics which are slower and more melodic. Other songs like First Gay President (forgive me if that's not the correct title!) where the singing is faster and much more lyric-y didn't stand up so well.
A lot of bands pay a huge amount of attention to the singer and use the music to back them up. Without the lyrical content, they don't have much to fall back on. Last nights unbalanced sound could have been a real issue if it weren't for the fact that Jet Heeled Striker aren't a singer with a back up band. Neither are they a band who have a singer because they have to. They pay as much attention to all parts of what makes them a band. Each one of the five of them complements and supports the other. Without being able to hear Adam so well last night was a shame, but it wasn't a bad performance as a result as the music stood up really well on its own merits.
To go back briefly to their stage presence, I think what makes them so watchable is that they don't look like they're trying to be a band, it looks like they are one. I love that Chris wonders about the stage to play with Neil or Gibbo, he just looks like he lives his life on a stage. At one point last night he and Neil were laughing together as they were playing; it's little things like that that makes them so enjoying to watch - their comfort and enjoyment in what they're doing really comes through in their music and in their performance on stage.
Looking forward to Talking Heads on 23 July!
We'll Beat You Up If You Make Us Annoyed
It's 11:17, I've been at work since 8:15 and I've lost count the amount of times I've wanted to scream at people in my office. Outside of here I would class them as friends, and quite a few of them really are. But with the exception of precisely one colleague I think I've silently screamed at everyone today. If I enjoyed even a moment of my job I think I wouldn't find my colleagues so irritating. The girl I sit next to has been rabbitting on for four hours now about her disjointed family; which is fine - we all talk about ourselves, but I feel like my heads going to implode from lack of stimulation. We've had not one intelligent conversation - don't get me wrong, I'm all for a laugh and a joke, but seriously can we talk about something other than One Tree Hill and Eastenders for ten minutes??! The girl opposite me (who is leaving at the end of the month for a sort of promotion) is having to be told word for word how to write her resignation letter; how hard is it to write "Dear blah, Please accept my resignation from my position as FAB Support Officer. My last day will be blah. Yours sincerely...."????? I just can't be here anymore, I worry for my mental health, seriously, I get to Sunday night and I'm often in tears about the thought of going to work the next morning. I always said I couldn't imagine doing a job I don't find rewarding or I don't enjoy, and look where I am. I need out and fast.
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