Anybody who knows me in the world outside the Internet (yes, that's right kids, there IS a world away from the computer screen) will know family is something that's caused me a fair bit of heartache over the years. Honestly though, I don't know of anybody whose family-life is actually 'normal' - whatever normal actually means.
Sometimes I wish I could walk away from my family and never look back; just cut them out of my life and cut away all the pain and trauma they cause me, and live a simpler life without them. Unfortunately it's not that easy for me, trust me, I've tried that route and I can't switch off my emotions like that. Or maybe I don't want to. Maybe somewhere within me is the happy girl from my childhood that saw family as a happy, safe, fun and loving place to be and isn't ready to give that up yet.
Over the years the main cause of conflict in my family has swapped around a bit - starting with my aunt, then my dad for many years, another aunt and my sister. I actually have a lot of respect now for that first aunt. Me and my Dad can be a bit volatile (we both have a tendency to be very opinionated and stubborn) but on the whole it's a pretty happy set up. So I should have some hope for the other aunt and my sister, right? This is going to sound cold, but I'm just not that bothered about sorting things with my aunt. I don't see her often, and don't miss the fact that I don't see her either.
My sister though, that's another matter. I never seem to be able to walk away from her. I'm like that proverbial moth going back time and again to the flame that burns it every time. She has the ability to hurt me like pretty much nobody else on earth can. On the odd occasion she graces home with her presence I'm like a fucking puppy around her, bringing her toys and doing stupid things on the off chance that she'll throw some affection my way. I don't want her calling me every day, or us living in each other's pockets - it would be suffocating and is a totally unrealistic expectation. What I do want is to have a sister who picks up the phone or texts me occasionally because she wants me in her life. I finished one of my jobs on Thursday; it was an emotional and actually quite hard day. I did get a text from her - asking me if a friend of mine could get someone she knows on TV (long and quite dull story I'm not boring you with). She knew it was when I was finishing work, and she knows how hard I find endings. Not a word about that though, instead it was about her. Always about her. Actually that's a lie, it's always about her or my aunt and her kids and grandkids.
I think about my sister, I call her, I do things for her, I love her and I want her in my life. I thought that's what siblings did for each other. Apparently not.
Rob Em All Naafi, ROB EM ALL (NAAFI)
The final installment in the mixtape trilogy, Rob's mixtape...
I Need You Tonight - Professor Green NICE!! In theory, I shouldn't like this song, but I can't not like it. It may not come as a surprise given the track name that this song samples the always fantastic INXS track. This is enough to sell it to me. PG himself did sound like a poor mans Eminem though.
White Diamonds - Friendly Fires I really like this track. It's quite pacey, it's lively and holds my interest. A well put together number in my opinion.
We Want You - New York Pony Club We're back to my age old issue with female vocalists here. I think the vocals get a bit drowned by the music that isn't really good enough in my opinion to stand alone without lyrical back-up. Don't get me wrong, it's not awful. It's just not my cup of tea. Also, being a song I'm just not interested in, it does seem to last a really long time!
Catch The Sun - Doves The last time I had anything to do with Doves I was in college and listening to the likes of Soulfly, Slayer, Korn, Marilyn Manson and Sepultura. Clearly Doves didn't really fit into my musical world at that point. The question is, do they now? Simple answer, I think maybe they do. Which, trust me, isn't an easy thing to admit, and will probably open me up to endless mocking from my indie-loving friends... This track does exactly what it says on the indie tin: it's jangly, pretty, has harmony bits, soft guitars, and some kind of tambourine.
Make It Wit Chu - Queens Of The Stone Age Aah, QOTS, a band that doesn't embarrass the metal-head within to admit liking. Happy days! It's a classy song, very well produced, and beautifully well executed by Josh Homme et al.
Crystallised - The XX Oh Rob, you were doing so well there... Really really not my cup of tea, sorry!
Dayvan Cowboy - Boards Of Canada It took a lot of self control to not skip this as it began, but I made a rule that I had to listen to every song all the way through, so I did.
Hayling - FC Kahuna See above comment. Just can't get excited by this in the slightest I'm afraid.
Gimme Shelter - The Rolling Stones I love The Rolling Stones. For me they're far more interesting than The Beatles; their music has an edge and a darkness to it that appeals to me. Paint It Black is still my favourite ever TRS track, but this may very well be in second place. Very good mixtape song choice.
Old Man - Neil Young Neil Young is one of a selection of artists that I grew up with. Not literally. Man that would have been cool... So the chances of me not liking this were very slim. This song sounds musically so simplistic which means you don't get distracted from the lyrics which are as relevant today as they were in 1972 (?). It's about realising how two people really aren't that different despite the age gap, how they feel the same things and think the same thoughts and need the same needs.
Paper Heart - Turin Brakes Now this was a surprise track for me. I don't generally have much time for Turin Brakes, but I do actually like this one. I don't know I could listen to a whole heap of it, but I like this as a stand alone song.
If You Stayed Over - Bonobo Starts off like Disney crossed with Native American peace pipes. Then seems to go into an oriental vibe before going elsewhere again. A bit confusing but not necessarily in a bad way. Glad it's short though, not sure I could cope with a long track!
PS, a bag of haribo for anyone who figures where the blog entry title comes from... :)
I Need You Tonight - Professor Green NICE!! In theory, I shouldn't like this song, but I can't not like it. It may not come as a surprise given the track name that this song samples the always fantastic INXS track. This is enough to sell it to me. PG himself did sound like a poor mans Eminem though.
White Diamonds - Friendly Fires I really like this track. It's quite pacey, it's lively and holds my interest. A well put together number in my opinion.
We Want You - New York Pony Club We're back to my age old issue with female vocalists here. I think the vocals get a bit drowned by the music that isn't really good enough in my opinion to stand alone without lyrical back-up. Don't get me wrong, it's not awful. It's just not my cup of tea. Also, being a song I'm just not interested in, it does seem to last a really long time!
Catch The Sun - Doves The last time I had anything to do with Doves I was in college and listening to the likes of Soulfly, Slayer, Korn, Marilyn Manson and Sepultura. Clearly Doves didn't really fit into my musical world at that point. The question is, do they now? Simple answer, I think maybe they do. Which, trust me, isn't an easy thing to admit, and will probably open me up to endless mocking from my indie-loving friends... This track does exactly what it says on the indie tin: it's jangly, pretty, has harmony bits, soft guitars, and some kind of tambourine.
Make It Wit Chu - Queens Of The Stone Age Aah, QOTS, a band that doesn't embarrass the metal-head within to admit liking. Happy days! It's a classy song, very well produced, and beautifully well executed by Josh Homme et al.
Crystallised - The XX Oh Rob, you were doing so well there... Really really not my cup of tea, sorry!
Dayvan Cowboy - Boards Of Canada It took a lot of self control to not skip this as it began, but I made a rule that I had to listen to every song all the way through, so I did.
Hayling - FC Kahuna See above comment. Just can't get excited by this in the slightest I'm afraid.
Gimme Shelter - The Rolling Stones I love The Rolling Stones. For me they're far more interesting than The Beatles; their music has an edge and a darkness to it that appeals to me. Paint It Black is still my favourite ever TRS track, but this may very well be in second place. Very good mixtape song choice.
Old Man - Neil Young Neil Young is one of a selection of artists that I grew up with. Not literally. Man that would have been cool... So the chances of me not liking this were very slim. This song sounds musically so simplistic which means you don't get distracted from the lyrics which are as relevant today as they were in 1972 (?). It's about realising how two people really aren't that different despite the age gap, how they feel the same things and think the same thoughts and need the same needs.
Paper Heart - Turin Brakes Now this was a surprise track for me. I don't generally have much time for Turin Brakes, but I do actually like this one. I don't know I could listen to a whole heap of it, but I like this as a stand alone song.
If You Stayed Over - Bonobo Starts off like Disney crossed with Native American peace pipes. Then seems to go into an oriental vibe before going elsewhere again. A bit confusing but not necessarily in a bad way. Glad it's short though, not sure I could cope with a long track!
PS, a bag of haribo for anyone who figures where the blog entry title comes from... :)
Their Ain't No Motive For This Crime, Jenny Was A Friend Of Mine
This is part two of a three part blog entry... see last entry to explain why...
The critique this time is on Jenn's contribution:
Ready To Start - Arcade Fire My first thought was along the lines of 'seriously? I have to listen to this again??' but by the end of it I've come to the conclusion that it's a grower of a song, and maybe (just maybe) I'd like to be able to sing along to it. (so apologies Omar, for being very critical of it on yours)
Bloodbuzz Ohio - The National The singers voice reminded me of Nick Cave, which is always going to be a good thing in my book. The song is unusual, it captured my interest from the start, and I loved the contrast between the jangly music and the bleakness of his voice. I was sad it ended.
Ambling Alp - Yeasayer It made my feet dance! I like it, it's cheery and electronica and the wobbly voice reminded me of Robin Gibb on 'I Started A Joke'.
Walk Tall - Kele This track has a military vibe which is fresh and modern, but not modern in a crappy way that so much music that saturates commercial radio. I think long term it's the kind of song I'll end up totally loving or getting totally annoyed with.
Cold War - Janelle Monae I've heard a bit of this song on Jenn's blog before and switched it off because I really really didn't like what I heard. Turns out it gets worse though! I will very highly likely be skipping this track in the future.
The Lines - Battles It was at this point in the mixtape that I began to despair! I'd really been enjoying the choices much more than I'd expected (sorry Jenn, you know that's not a dig, it's just our very different views on what's good musically - we tend to either agree 100% or be polar opposites). Enough said.
My Love - Sia Very promising start, beautiful piece of piano composition. Overall pretty good but would have much preferred it if it were a male singer.
Good Arms vs Bad Arms - Frightened Rabbit At this point, I began to relax again, this song I like, in fact I like it enough to type 'ooh' as I was listening to it. Only one annoying point with it, which is that the singer's voice reminds me very much of someone but I can't place who!
Doubtful Comforts - Blue Roses I've never liked female singers. The only one's I've ever had much time for have been Amy Echo, Gwen Stefani, Tobey Torres, Brody Dalle and Tarrie B. So this surprised me. It's gorgeous, completely and utterly gorgeous. However, it did nearly lose me with the chorally bit kicking in around 2 minutes...
Bust On The Ground - Bombay Bicycle Club I don't have anything to say on this one really. Wasn't bad, certainly wasn't great. Left me very much indifferent to it.
Last Song - Clogs I was a bit sorry the singing kicked in on this because the music was enough on it's own really. I want to listen to it again, and to be able to listen to it in the dark with nothing and nobody interrupting it. Because I feel like it deserves that attention.
Next installment comes from the music of Rob...
The critique this time is on Jenn's contribution:
Ready To Start - Arcade Fire My first thought was along the lines of 'seriously? I have to listen to this again??' but by the end of it I've come to the conclusion that it's a grower of a song, and maybe (just maybe) I'd like to be able to sing along to it. (so apologies Omar, for being very critical of it on yours)
Bloodbuzz Ohio - The National The singers voice reminded me of Nick Cave, which is always going to be a good thing in my book. The song is unusual, it captured my interest from the start, and I loved the contrast between the jangly music and the bleakness of his voice. I was sad it ended.
Ambling Alp - Yeasayer It made my feet dance! I like it, it's cheery and electronica and the wobbly voice reminded me of Robin Gibb on 'I Started A Joke'.
Walk Tall - Kele This track has a military vibe which is fresh and modern, but not modern in a crappy way that so much music that saturates commercial radio. I think long term it's the kind of song I'll end up totally loving or getting totally annoyed with.
Cold War - Janelle Monae I've heard a bit of this song on Jenn's blog before and switched it off because I really really didn't like what I heard. Turns out it gets worse though! I will very highly likely be skipping this track in the future.
The Lines - Battles It was at this point in the mixtape that I began to despair! I'd really been enjoying the choices much more than I'd expected (sorry Jenn, you know that's not a dig, it's just our very different views on what's good musically - we tend to either agree 100% or be polar opposites). Enough said.
My Love - Sia Very promising start, beautiful piece of piano composition. Overall pretty good but would have much preferred it if it were a male singer.
Good Arms vs Bad Arms - Frightened Rabbit At this point, I began to relax again, this song I like, in fact I like it enough to type 'ooh' as I was listening to it. Only one annoying point with it, which is that the singer's voice reminds me very much of someone but I can't place who!
Doubtful Comforts - Blue Roses I've never liked female singers. The only one's I've ever had much time for have been Amy Echo, Gwen Stefani, Tobey Torres, Brody Dalle and Tarrie B. So this surprised me. It's gorgeous, completely and utterly gorgeous. However, it did nearly lose me with the chorally bit kicking in around 2 minutes...
Bust On The Ground - Bombay Bicycle Club I don't have anything to say on this one really. Wasn't bad, certainly wasn't great. Left me very much indifferent to it.
Last Song - Clogs I was a bit sorry the singing kicked in on this because the music was enough on it's own really. I want to listen to it again, and to be able to listen to it in the dark with nothing and nobody interrupting it. Because I feel like it deserves that attention.
Next installment comes from the music of Rob...
Hey Mr DJ, Put A Record On
So Jenn, Omar, Rob and I decided to create an eleven track CD that is made up of our 'new favourite songs' and then send them out to each other. They didn't have to be newly released, or new to our collections, but they had to be newly loved - and only one from an artist or band. Omar and I stuck to the rules (!) and posted ours on the deadline; Jenn and Rob not so much... Which actually is a good thing, because I didn't have to pick which one to start with, or rush through one to start another. Every cloud and all that!
Here's what I thought of Omar's contribution to the exercise:
1. Unity - Orkidea Not a great place to start really since I can't remember anything about this song. Which probably says a lot about what I thought of it!
2. Baptism - Crystal Castles Chaotic and messy in a very good way. The background sounded like the kind of stuff my lovely lovely friend Laura would have listened to.
3. Tell 'Em - Sleigh Bells Had a good, promising start. Turned out even more chaotic and messy than the track before. The only downside was the singers completely hideous voice (in my opinion). Overall it had kind of a post-apocalyptic vibe going on that I liked.
4. Ready To Start - Arcade Fire I always thought I didn't like Arcade Fire. Turns out I'm just a bit left cold by their music really. To begin it felt nice and inoffensive but did nothing to set my world alight. The tension built up as it went on and dragged my attention back, but just as I thought it was getting somewhere it stopped.
5. Automatic - Yuck Two words: simple, beautiful.
6. Knee Play 5 - Phillip Glass The counting part at the start almost had me skipping this track. Which would have been a mistake. The preacher style speech over soft music is gorgeous. Best track on the album so far.
7. Dance The Way I Feel - Ou Est Le Swimming Pool I really really wanted to love this because of the name of the song and the band. I like the lyrics and the notion of dancing how I feel, but the music itself didn't hit me really on any emotional levels.
8. Everyone Chooses Sides - The Wrens This song feels like a sunny afternoon in a park with mates. It's kinda brit-poppy and the singer has a nasally twang reminiscent of Damon Albarn. I like this.
9. Everything I Build - The Stills Occasionally there are bits of this song that are a bit psychedelic and Pink Floyd esque. Small parts, and not enough to make me love it. It felt very bleak lyric-wise.
10. Love Lust - King Charles It's not something I'd usually listen to, but I'm really glad I did. It's a quirky track, and just as I was thinking I wanted it to do something more, it did!
11. 1440 - Olagur Arnalds This is the only track on the album I've heard before. I loved it before, and I love it as much, if not more now. It's beautiful and bleak, uplifting and devastating, heartbreaking and hopeful all at once.
As and when I receive the others, I shall blog about them too...
Here's what I thought of Omar's contribution to the exercise:
1. Unity - Orkidea Not a great place to start really since I can't remember anything about this song. Which probably says a lot about what I thought of it!
2. Baptism - Crystal Castles Chaotic and messy in a very good way. The background sounded like the kind of stuff my lovely lovely friend Laura would have listened to.
3. Tell 'Em - Sleigh Bells Had a good, promising start. Turned out even more chaotic and messy than the track before. The only downside was the singers completely hideous voice (in my opinion). Overall it had kind of a post-apocalyptic vibe going on that I liked.
4. Ready To Start - Arcade Fire I always thought I didn't like Arcade Fire. Turns out I'm just a bit left cold by their music really. To begin it felt nice and inoffensive but did nothing to set my world alight. The tension built up as it went on and dragged my attention back, but just as I thought it was getting somewhere it stopped.
5. Automatic - Yuck Two words: simple, beautiful.
6. Knee Play 5 - Phillip Glass The counting part at the start almost had me skipping this track. Which would have been a mistake. The preacher style speech over soft music is gorgeous. Best track on the album so far.
7. Dance The Way I Feel - Ou Est Le Swimming Pool I really really wanted to love this because of the name of the song and the band. I like the lyrics and the notion of dancing how I feel, but the music itself didn't hit me really on any emotional levels.
8. Everyone Chooses Sides - The Wrens This song feels like a sunny afternoon in a park with mates. It's kinda brit-poppy and the singer has a nasally twang reminiscent of Damon Albarn. I like this.
9. Everything I Build - The Stills Occasionally there are bits of this song that are a bit psychedelic and Pink Floyd esque. Small parts, and not enough to make me love it. It felt very bleak lyric-wise.
10. Love Lust - King Charles It's not something I'd usually listen to, but I'm really glad I did. It's a quirky track, and just as I was thinking I wanted it to do something more, it did!
11. 1440 - Olagur Arnalds This is the only track on the album I've heard before. I loved it before, and I love it as much, if not more now. It's beautiful and bleak, uplifting and devastating, heartbreaking and hopeful all at once.
As and when I receive the others, I shall blog about them too...
I Can't Get No Satisfaction
Then when I got trained as a counsellor and got my paid job at No Limits, that wish to help one person didn't satisfy me enough. I'd done that already. It's a pretty humbling feeling to know that there are people living a happier life because of me. That also sounds immensely big headed, which is something that can very very rarely ever be said about me. So my dream changed to helping many instead.
Only now that's not enough either. A colleague of mine has a very very poorly little boy who has respite stays in Naomi House in Winchester. He does as much as he can to raise money for them to compensate in some way for the support and respite the whole family gets from his boys stays there. So a few months ago I decided to do something to help too. I have a few musical connections, so decided to put on a charity gig night. The Great Sojourn, A.dam A.sun.der and The Tiny Eyes have all been incredibly generous and offered their services for free. I have another potential band, but they're on a bit of a hiatus at the moment, so I'm not too hopeful they'll be available. The stumbling block has been the venue though. Given that I'd do as much as I can for charities, in my naivety I assumed others would to. I've contacted pretty much every venue I can think of in Southampton and Winchester to put on this gig and only one has been really supportive in their response. Unfortunately due to timetabling issues, that venue's not going to work out.
So now I'm trying to figure out whether to go around them all and beg them face to face for their support. Or to give up and change the type of venue I'm trying for, to something like a hall instead. Which isn't ideal by a long shot, but potentially easier to pull off. If I do that, it will take place and will make some money for an incredible cause. But I won't be satisfied with it. It won't be what I want it to be. So do I settle or do I strive for more for my own satisfaction?
And if I pull that off, then what do I do next? What can I use to fill this need I have to justify my existence in this world? And is it ever going to be a satisfying answer to say that I am the reason for my existence?
All My Best Friends Are Metalheads
There was an article in Style Magazine with The Sunday Times today that is about understanding the subcultures of today's young people. It's an interesting article all round, but, as someone who wrote their a-level Sociology dissertation on the affects of subcultures on the youth, I would have liked it to be a bit more in depth.
The topic in general fascinates me, and I intend to blog about that more in future. Today I'm focusing in on the section titled 'Metalhead'. I think metalheads get a bit of a raw deal. But then I would say that, since if I had to pick a subculture label for myself, it would be that one. It was only a short piece, so this is it transcribed:
The Look: Heavy-metal T-shirts, skinny black jeans, black leather, Dr Martens and tattoos (roses, skulls angels, and, erm, machinery), plus black lips, eyes and nails and an Alice Dellal-style shaved head are now passable in polite circles. A deeper immersion includes corseted Victorian Gothic gowns (restraint is big - for girls and boys) and DIY dresses customised with punk studs, chains, crucifixes and band logos. Also silver jewellery, depicting animals and fairies, preferably attached to the metalhead's many piercings.
The Back Story: Metal has grown up - no longer is it about adolescents enjoying alienation and violent fan clashes. Bands and fans have become softer (and more female).
The Music: Alice Cooper, Metallica, Marilyn Manson, Ozzy Osbourne. Moshing has been all but outlawed, though the boys still head bang to show off their long hair.
The Attitude: They're still angry, though not at us, but at social issues such as racism and poverty.
The Lifestyle: Instead of drink, drugs and fights, metalheads now have successful relationships and careers (and not only as tattooists). Their dark side takes them from philosophy and Freud to poetry and art (they even design their own tats).
The No-Nos: Pink frosting.
Quote: VJ, 27, says "It's easy to make us cry - we need this mask of protection."
Much of this resonated with me strongly. I felt a strange sense of acceptance when I read this. Like it's finally been confirmed that being a metalhead is a legitimate subculture in today's patchwork quilt of subcultures that creates our thankfully varied society. I've felt for sometime now a pressure to 'grow out' of this 'phase', but haven't wanted to. It's a subculture that helped me make sense of who I am, it gave me an identity and a sense of belonging when I felt most cut adrift from both myself and the world around me. Although I know I'm much much more than the subculture I mostly identify with, and labels are largely very destructive, it's a label I've not wanted to give up.
Having said that though, I have often found myself apologising for it. If people ask about my music taste my response is often along the lines of "If I had to pick just one type of music, then I'm really sorry but my first love is metal". Don't get me wrong, I'm not ashamed of being a metal fan, I'd defend the merits of the genre to my dying breath. But rather, I'm apologising for still identifying so much with metalhead-ism if that makes sense. Largely because I think people think of it as being a subculture for long haired 17 year old boys.
This article took me out of my own paranoid view on how people see me though. It declares that us metalheads may have tattoo's (check), piercings (check), a penchant for silver jewellery (check) and chains (check), but we also have careers (check) and are passionately unwilling to accept injustice in this world (check). So if that's what being a metalhead is comprised of, then I'm fucking proud to say I am one.
The topic in general fascinates me, and I intend to blog about that more in future. Today I'm focusing in on the section titled 'Metalhead'. I think metalheads get a bit of a raw deal. But then I would say that, since if I had to pick a subculture label for myself, it would be that one. It was only a short piece, so this is it transcribed:
The Look: Heavy-metal T-shirts, skinny black jeans, black leather, Dr Martens and tattoos (roses, skulls angels, and, erm, machinery), plus black lips, eyes and nails and an Alice Dellal-style shaved head are now passable in polite circles. A deeper immersion includes corseted Victorian Gothic gowns (restraint is big - for girls and boys) and DIY dresses customised with punk studs, chains, crucifixes and band logos. Also silver jewellery, depicting animals and fairies, preferably attached to the metalhead's many piercings.
The Back Story: Metal has grown up - no longer is it about adolescents enjoying alienation and violent fan clashes. Bands and fans have become softer (and more female).
The Music: Alice Cooper, Metallica, Marilyn Manson, Ozzy Osbourne. Moshing has been all but outlawed, though the boys still head bang to show off their long hair.
The Attitude: They're still angry, though not at us, but at social issues such as racism and poverty.
The Lifestyle: Instead of drink, drugs and fights, metalheads now have successful relationships and careers (and not only as tattooists). Their dark side takes them from philosophy and Freud to poetry and art (they even design their own tats).
The No-Nos: Pink frosting.
Quote: VJ, 27, says "It's easy to make us cry - we need this mask of protection."
Much of this resonated with me strongly. I felt a strange sense of acceptance when I read this. Like it's finally been confirmed that being a metalhead is a legitimate subculture in today's patchwork quilt of subcultures that creates our thankfully varied society. I've felt for sometime now a pressure to 'grow out' of this 'phase', but haven't wanted to. It's a subculture that helped me make sense of who I am, it gave me an identity and a sense of belonging when I felt most cut adrift from both myself and the world around me. Although I know I'm much much more than the subculture I mostly identify with, and labels are largely very destructive, it's a label I've not wanted to give up.
Having said that though, I have often found myself apologising for it. If people ask about my music taste my response is often along the lines of "If I had to pick just one type of music, then I'm really sorry but my first love is metal". Don't get me wrong, I'm not ashamed of being a metal fan, I'd defend the merits of the genre to my dying breath. But rather, I'm apologising for still identifying so much with metalhead-ism if that makes sense. Largely because I think people think of it as being a subculture for long haired 17 year old boys.
This article took me out of my own paranoid view on how people see me though. It declares that us metalheads may have tattoo's (check), piercings (check), a penchant for silver jewellery (check) and chains (check), but we also have careers (check) and are passionately unwilling to accept injustice in this world (check). So if that's what being a metalhead is comprised of, then I'm fucking proud to say I am one.
The Bruise Left Round Your Heart, Left You Begging For More
Funeral For A Friend
Solus, Cardiff University Students Union, Cardiff
22 July 2010
Surrounded by sweaty, long haired guys and girls with Bridgend's finest emo-rockers creating a multi-sensory musical atmosphere, I felt slightly like I'd entered the twilight zone. This is because last time I was in there was 7 years ago, and was likely to have been at Drink The Bar Dry - eleven solid hours of drinking accompanied by my amazing uni friends and hundreds of other randoms to a cheesy mix of seventies, eighties and nineties classics. So to say it was odd to be in Solus (which literally hasn't changed one bit), with someone who I didn't go to uni with to see a metal band is a gross understatement.
The night was one of two special gigs put on to say farewell to their fantastically talented guitarist, Darran Smith who was leaving the band after nine years. 'Shuffle' buttons on things like ipod's bug me because I'm a big believer in listening to a complete album as it's been made as a piece of musical art for a reason. This gig didn't use a shuffle button on their greatest hits, but instead played the whole of Casually Dressed And Deep In Conversation, followed by an encore of other classics.
Casually Dressed is my favourite FFAF album, and on the shortlist for my favourite ever album, and hearing it played loud in it's complete state was awesome. I've not had the luck to see FFAF before, but I imagine they always play with tenacity and a huge sense of passion: they certainly did this time. They were alive, and the crowd responded, mirroring the passion and the shared revelry for the soon-to-depart Darran.
The night was a reminder that albums don't have to include those typical 'album filler' tracks - they can be created completely of single quality songs, it just takes time and talent. Each song was fantastic, there wasn't one moment when I thought it was a track they should have skipped.
It was a magical night: having the opportunity to hear live one of my most beloved albums was an incredible experience. Thank you Darran Smith, for being part of a band that left bruises round my heart, and left me begging for more.
Solus, Cardiff University Students Union, Cardiff
22 July 2010
Surrounded by sweaty, long haired guys and girls with Bridgend's finest emo-rockers creating a multi-sensory musical atmosphere, I felt slightly like I'd entered the twilight zone. This is because last time I was in there was 7 years ago, and was likely to have been at Drink The Bar Dry - eleven solid hours of drinking accompanied by my amazing uni friends and hundreds of other randoms to a cheesy mix of seventies, eighties and nineties classics. So to say it was odd to be in Solus (which literally hasn't changed one bit), with someone who I didn't go to uni with to see a metal band is a gross understatement.
The night was one of two special gigs put on to say farewell to their fantastically talented guitarist, Darran Smith who was leaving the band after nine years. 'Shuffle' buttons on things like ipod's bug me because I'm a big believer in listening to a complete album as it's been made as a piece of musical art for a reason. This gig didn't use a shuffle button on their greatest hits, but instead played the whole of Casually Dressed And Deep In Conversation, followed by an encore of other classics.
Casually Dressed is my favourite FFAF album, and on the shortlist for my favourite ever album, and hearing it played loud in it's complete state was awesome. I've not had the luck to see FFAF before, but I imagine they always play with tenacity and a huge sense of passion: they certainly did this time. They were alive, and the crowd responded, mirroring the passion and the shared revelry for the soon-to-depart Darran.
The night was a reminder that albums don't have to include those typical 'album filler' tracks - they can be created completely of single quality songs, it just takes time and talent. Each song was fantastic, there wasn't one moment when I thought it was a track they should have skipped.
It was a magical night: having the opportunity to hear live one of my most beloved albums was an incredible experience. Thank you Darran Smith, for being part of a band that left bruises round my heart, and left me begging for more.
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