I handed my notice in today for my generic job in a generic team in a generic county council department. In truth I feel a bit mixed about it. I don't enjoy the job, trust me when I say I get absolutely no satisfaction from being stuck in an office all day charging people for their care - the care they need because they're sick, or old or dying. But it's a safe job. It's a job I know inside out and can do without a moments thought about what it is I'm doing. Also, up until this change of government, it was safe in terms that it's unlikely that charging for care will ever cease, and even if it does, then I'd get redeployed. Throughout all my training as a counsellor it's been my saftety blanket, I like that fact that it's something I'm very sure of and I'm very confident in my abilities of.
I've made amazing friends in my (almost) six years in my generic job. I've literally laughed until I've cried and cried until I've laughed with them. It's the people who are really what I'm going to miss. Some I'll keep in touch with for ever, others not so much. They're not people I'd usually necessarily cross paths with outside work. But I guess that's part of what makes work brilliant (or awful), you get to meet people who touch your lives in ways you never expect them to.
As of 31st August, I no longer have my safety blanket. Instead I have something better. I have my dream. For as long as I can remember, all I've wanted to do with my life is make a difference to somebody. To know that it's because of me that someone's life is a bit easier. Only now I've moved the goal posts. I don't want to do that for just one person. I want to do it for as many as I can. From September my working week will be solely comprised of living my dream and studying to continue developing my ability to live my dream as well as I possibly can.
So bring on the fear, the uncertainty, the self doubt, because I'm ready!
