This Note Is Marked Return To Sender

I usually have a few books on the go, I like to be able to pick up a book to suit my mood. At the moment I'm reading:
  • Dead Until Dark - Charlane Harris
  • Auschwitz: The Nazi's And The Final Solution - Laurence Rees
  • Beyond Fear & Control: Working with Young People Who Self Harm - Helen Spandler & Sam Warner
  • Dear Me: A Letter to My Sixteen-Year-Old Self - Joseph Galliano
Not the most cheerful of lists, I'm aware of that!
The last on the list has inspired this blog entry. It's a collection of letters that various famous people have written to their sixteen year old selves (as the title suggested!). It got me thinking about what I'd put in a letter to my sixteen year old self. Some of them in the book wrote about what happens in their future, but for me that's cheating, I wouldn't want to know what happens in my life before I live it. Others were written as a warning, some reflective on them at that time of their lives, some were advisory. Many of them are bittersweet - funny with a hint of wistfulness for a time long gone and that essence of everything that goes into the makeup of a sixteen year old psyche and view on life.
So this is my attempt at a letter to my sixteen year old self....

 
Dear Me
Hiya! You'll have noticed that I haven't called you a name. That's because your name is a bit of an issue for you at the moment, and I'm not sure which vernacular I should be using to write to myself... friendly, family, authoritative... and I don't want to offend this early into your letter!
You'll also notice that I'm (we're??) still using a lot of punctuation (possibly too much, but if that's the worst criticism someone can pin to my door then I'd say I'm doing pretty well). I like to think it adds character to things :)
I know that you understand a sideways smiley face (I believe they're called 'emoticons') after having spent aaaages trying to decipher it in a text from CB. If that hasn't happened yet, then just to clarify, you'll meet a great lad with those initials and you'll get your own mobile telephone that has this application that means you can text other people on their mobiles - kind of like paging but two way.
I digress... So I know you're going through a hard time at the moment, I'm not going to tell you how things with your Dad pan out or what happens with the whole self harm thing. That's a path for you to figure out on your own, but I will tell you I'm not writing this from inside an institution or from beyond the grave so hold onto the knowledge that things get easier for you.
One thing I will say though is to cherish every moment you can with Gran. Listen to her stories about Grandad and their lives. Ask those questions about her early life - those ones that will paint a picture of her so much beyond the image of her as your grandmother. And in Grandma's lucid moments, do the same with her. There's so much they can tell you, and you'll wish you could have learnt from them. By now it's already too late to do that with both Grandad's and Great Gran, so make the most of them.
Keep loving music, it paints the colour of your life so make sure it's present in every part of it. Stay true to who you are, even though I know right now you don't have much a clue of who that is. Oh, and in the Easter holidays in your second year at college you'll go to a party at IY's - kiss SO, you'll always regret not kissing him. Trust me!
That brings me to my last pearl of wisdom: don't let your insecurities and paranoia get the better of you, it's the things you don't do that you'll regret the most.
Oh, and just a sneak preview - by the time you're 28 you'll have dyed your hair pinker than flamingos and had a ring pierced through your nipple....
Take care of yourself (myself??)
Me xxx