For the most part, I genuinely don't mind being single - I like that I come and go as I please and only have to factor in living my life & doing things I want/have to do.  That's not to say I don't want someone to curl up and chat with for hours, or just be silent and completely comfortable with.  Of course I do, I doubt you'll find much people who don't want that.
There are a few things that really bug the hell out of me though.
It's such a little word 'we', and in so many circumstances is completely acceptable.  But every now and again, it pops up with surrounded with a blanket of smugness or an air of superiority, and topped with a great big dollop of pity.  Luckily, my nearest and dearest don't sit in this boat, if they do, they may have found themselves man over board by now.
Then there's that inevitable invite 'Dear XX plus one', and the ensuing decision making - do I beat myself up about trying to find someone to take with me, and then the fall out of feeling like a failure if I don't find said someone?  Do I take a friend and know that people are thinking 'look at her, bless her, she had to bring a friend'?  Do I brave it out and say it's just going to be me, and be the awkward odd number to the party?  Or, do I hide away from all these options and say I'm already booked up so regretfully decline the invite?
The thing that irritates me most is my own reaction to 'so are you seeing someone at the moment?' - my need to justify my singledom and responses like 'yep, just been so busy with uni', or 'yep, but you know what it's like living in a village'...  the rest continue in a similar vein.  Why should I excuse who I am, or how my life is?  Why is it that to be 29 and single isn't okay?

No comments: