Do you ever get those days when you feel all topsy-turvy?  That's probably the best way to describe how I feel at the moment in that I feel quite contradictory and I'm not sure why.  I'm not depressed, but I'm not happy either.  I'm on holiday from work this week which isn't helping really - I don't feel like I'm making the most of it because I'm not happy.  And then I'm putting pressure on myself which makes it all worse really.  But then I allow myself to relax and go with how I'm feel and then I automatically feel less morose. Hence the topsy-turvy thing.
I'm also topsy-turvy about my Mum selling my Grans bungalow.  The man at the bottom of the chain has, to be blunt, been a complete cunt and fucked things up royally after having dragged it out for ages.  I'm not going into details, because it's all pretty dull.  Long story short, Mum is now considering buying the flat at the bottom of the chain in order for all the sales to go through and get rid of Grans bungalow.  And I have no idea how I feel about it.  I know I don't like her or Dad talking to me about it - I want to shut it out as much possible.  But then, I've wanted to shut the whole process out.  I like even less the idea of having a property that I have completely no feeling for in Pontnewydd than I do having Grans without her or Grandad.
I also keep dreaming about old friends which is just a bit bittersweet really.  It's nice in that they're people I felt incredibly comfortable with, and it's always nice to be reminded of that.  But at the same time, it's just a bit sad to have to wonder how their lives are rather than to know the answer.
I think it doesn't help much that things with my sister aren't that fantastic again.  We've not fallen out (for a change), it's more that she's doing her not bothering with me thing again, which sucks really.
On the topsy side of topsy turvy, I've started guitar lessons, am seeing much more of my friends, am back on line with slimming world and exercise, and have got a new counselling job starting in September.